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Proud, Scared, Happy, Sad

Proud, Scared, Happy, Sad

It has been two weeks since C2 has left for basic training. The day he left was an emotional roller coaster ride. I felt proud, scared, happy and sad. It was a relief that the whole family plus his girlfriend was there to see him off. The highlight of the morning was the Swear in Ceremony. It was during this time I felt PROUD.
PROUD to be the mother of a young man that decided to be the best man he could be. Proud to be a mother of a black male who has never been arrested, does not have any children and is respectable to all those around him. Proud that my son stood in front of the American flag and swore to serve and protect, not because he was forced to or felt he had no other way of life, but because this was something he wanted to do. His mother even tried to steer him down a different path. I was, am, and always will be proud of him.
I was SCARED of the unknown. Scared because if he was hurt, sad, lonely, or needed me I wouldn’t be able to run to him and make everything better. Scared because he was now under the watch of the US Air Force and no longer under mine. Scared because I would not be able to communicate with him on a daily as I have for the past nineteen years. Scared because he is still my baby.
HAPPY because he is doing what he wants to do with his life. It’s that simple.
SAD because I felt I was losing my little boy. If you know me, you know C2 was always by my side. He is a true momma’s boy. I felt like that was all going to change. I actually cried like a baby the night before he left. I felt I was mourning my little boy, that I was no longer needed. After all the tears were dry and the bus drove off for basic training I was no longer sad, but Proud again. Proud that I have raised a brilliant, confident, strong black man and I know he will be okay.
#proudmilitarymom #proudAirforcemom #proudmom

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